>> Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I am just over 3 months into my new life in Castlemaine...and this is the part I have been dreading, as most people have told me that 3 months in the the crap time and while at first I didn't believe them, now I really do.

Why? I hear you ask? Coz I am a bit homesick, I know it sounds a little soft, but its true. I think that the buzz and the novelty of the new adventure and the excitement that came from everything being so different and new has finally worn off and has become a bit mundane. I miss my family and my friends and I have found myself rushing through my week just to get to the weekend, where I can pretend for 2days that things are the way that they have always been.

I am actually really torn about what to do because part of me wants to throw in the towel and go running back home to all my friends and family and say...'well I tried, never mind' and the other part of me knows that I really really like my job, and that the experience is great and it's not forever so I should just suck it up and keep going.

The thing is I know I am not going to give up, and I know that this is just a bad week, but I guess when you are going through it, it feels like the end of the world. I know that I am tougher than this and that I can do it, and deep down I know that I want to stick it out and stay. I know even though right now I want to run home, I have grown so much just by being here, I have learnt lot about me, and what I need and don't need in my life. I have had to grow up a bit, and learn to fend for myself. I have made some amazing new friends, who have made me feel so welcome and loved. But I guess just right this very moment I would swap it all for Davo, Mum, Dad and the boys.

Now the point of this blog is not to make you all feel sorry for me, or worry about me or anything like that, I have just been reflecting on whats happening in my life at the moment and this is were I am at...I know that things will get better, and a very wise man, thanks Dad, reminded me that when I was praying about jobs this is the door God opened, so I have to trust that he knows what he is doing. I guess for the time being I will just have to keep listening to one of my favourite Brooklyn Tabernacle Songs..."My Life is in Your hands" which has the words...

You don't have to worry, and don't you be afraid.
Joy comes in the morning, troubles they don't
last always.

For there's a friend named Jesus, who will wipe your tears away.
And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say.

Oh I know that I can make it,
I know that I can stand,
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it,
With him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in
your hands

I have attempted to attach the music file so that you can have a listen, so I hope it works....

So thats what I have to do, just trust God knows what he is doing...and what doesn't kill me makes me stronger!

Sorry for the depressing blog.

I guess that's just all part of the adventure!


Margaret Agnew September 9, 2009 at 10:08 AM  

Thinking about you will make it thru, we will be praying for you...lots of love

Robert Field September 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM  

you married yet or what?

Judy Shaw September 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM  

Hi Em, I've been thinking about you all day and just asking God to surround you and strengthen you. Yes, He opened this door for you and He will continue to sustain you, just trust in Him. I know what it's like not having family just around the corner, hang in there love - you are very loved and prayed for. Love Judy xo

Shirley Agnew Lewis September 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM  

Love you Em!!!!!

Vanessa Whitehouse Orchard September 9, 2009 at 10:10 AM  

Oh Em...but I do feel sorry for you, and I will, even though I know you'll get through. LIfe is really hard some times, but know how much you are loved and that will get you through the tough times. Another song that is helping me through at the moment is "No Need to fear...don't be discouraged, your God is here, He's going make you strong, He's lifting you up, His love has redeemed you, your God is here, there's no need to fear". Love you Em - be kind to yourself.


Wendy Simpkin September 9, 2009 at 10:10 AM  

want to come for tea some time soon?

Carla Johnson September 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM  

Oh Em dear.. you've summed up in one blog the swaying feelings of something, a point in one's life that I guess is very normal and as you say, a moment that can only make us stronger... so this is what they call growing up? lol unfortunately it's gotta suck before it gets better. Love you hun xx

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